The Imaginary Diary of Graham Spiers

Police State Scotland Disclaimer: This diary is a farce, a parody, a satire, a comedy. It in no way consists of, contains or implies a threat or an incitement to carry out a violent act against one or more described individuals and there is no intention to cause fear or alarm to a reasonable person. Although of course as we all know, Celtic fans are not reasonable.

Friday 16 April 2010

I, Lennon Part 6: At Midnight all the Agents

Having found that I can no more stop myself laying into Rangers than I can stop myself breathing, I knew I was in trouble with Cosgrove. At the end of the show I sat there dumbstruck and shaking in disbelief at what we'd just done as we looked at each other and wondered what to do next.
'We need some protection from that bat man,' quaked Maguire. 'What about your friends the Republican Bhoys?'
'Rounded up after that Hapoel business at the City Chambers,' I said.
'The Green Brigade, what about them, surely they'll come to our aid?'
'Slaughtered by Donald Findlay that time they kidnapped Tony Mowbray,' I recalled.
'Well who then? Who will come to our aid now?' he was almost hysterical now.
'I've got an idea,' I told him, smiling at the brilliance of the plan forming in my mind.

It took until the end of the night before we had summoned them all but at last we had gathered a motley little crew and we all stood on the roof of the Radio Clyde building eyeing each other up suspiciously. There was the Traynor, slightly bruised but let out for the night and looking at the moon wondering whether or not to start howling. The Joker, Tam Cowan was there giggling as he played with his gloves which had razor sharp talons installed in the fingers. Two Face, Chick Young stood around twirling a flick knife on the end of one finger and the Piddler, Hugh McDonald sulked in the background, a puddle forming at his feet.

It was the Joker who insisted that as a gang of super villains, they should have a name and everyone agreed that the Traynor's suggestion of King Bastard was good enough to be getting on with so off we went, into the night - Maguire and me and King Bastard, daring Cosgrove to attempt anything now.

It took two minutes. We'd reached the car park when there was a blinding flash of light then a bang and from behind a pillar came rushing a great black figure dressed as a bat. Everyone was disorientated from the thunderflash as Cosgrove spun and smashed the Joker on the face with the back of his fist, turned and hit Two Face a beauty to the solar plexus while swiping the Traynor's legs from underneath him and slamming his head into the ground. It was over in seconds. Cosgrove crouched in front of me and looked up slowly as the Piddler wet himself and ran off towards the stairs leaving me and Maguire with the rest of King Bastard lying unconscious on the concrete floor.
'You're coming with me Spiers' growled Cosgrove and took me by the scruff of the neck and pushed me towards his batmobile which was sitting in the darkness at the other side of the car park.
'And I haven't forgotten about you, Maguire or Martin or whatever you call yourself. I'll be seeing you around' he shouted back at Peter who had fallen to his knees sobbing.

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