Lord of the Lies

Lawwell held the conch and refused to let anyone take it from him and since the rules of the island stated that you can only speak up while holding the conch, no-one else got a say in how we ran our little community on the remote desert island. So Lawwell was in charge and the Scottish media sat back and let him do what he liked – no change there then.

We’d fetched up on the island after the remarkable crash and burn of the Celtic AGM when the Inquisition 5 burned up on re-entry from its visit to the stars in an effort to ensure Celtic’s failings were seen to be not of this earth. Of course I was on it when it came down, thanks to Souness and his interfering. He just had to get on board the Inquisition to find out the truth of what was being said as obviously he couldn’t rely on the spin put on proceedings by the Celtic obsessed fans with typewriters in the press. Me included.

I’m not sure if the AGM crashed and burned due to some mischief by Souness or if it happened under the weight of spectacular Celtic failure on the field crushing the hopes and dreams of the fans and small shareholders that no amount of snide digs at Rangers could disguise even if John Reid did try his hardest. I suppose there are only so many AGMs at which you can get away with that as the trophy cupboard remains bereft of the league title.

Once the space ship broke up on its return to earth and landed on some remote island, rumours began to circulate among the survivors that it was Lawwell who had sabotaged the re-entry in an attempt to distract from the results from the AGM. He shouldn’t have bothered as all the journalists present were already conspiring on how to spin it in Celtic’s favour. So you can imagine how bitter they all felt that they ended up living in such a barbaric manner, living hand to mouth, filthy lives while Lawwell refused to allow them a voice. Again, nothing much had changed. Save for the presence of the conch.