The Shadow of Corruption

"Right, you wanks," growled Peter Lawwell, twisting his horse whip between two clenched fists as he addressed the ranks of the Scottish media who were lying before him, pegged to the ground.  "Not one word, one fucking word or else.  No allusions, no hints and no coded references.  If I hear one of you even mention Celtic and Glasgow City Council in the same breath then it's the rack - you understand?  And not only will it be the rack but Peter Kearney will be operating it!  Wearing a gimp mask!"

"Peter?" spoke up some young scud from STV.
"Peter?  Peter?" roared Lawwell.
"Sorry.  Mr Lawwell, usually in situations like this, you'll throw us a bone; give us something else to report to distract everyone's attention."
"First of all, cunto, I don't have to throw anyone a bone unless I feel like it, got that?  Second, here's a bone, knock yourselves out" and he had Neil Doncaster pass out a press release which most of us struggled to read, being pegged to the ground and all.  Tom English was the first to speak up: "But this Twitter troll who's been jailed, he's a Celtic supporter."
"And where the fuck exactly does it say that?" asked Lawwell.
"Well, he racially abused a couple of black Rangers players, his name's Convery..."
"Ronnie Convery?" asked Gerry McCulloch.
"No," said Tom.
"Oh, but you must admit, it sounds like the kind of thing he'd do..." chuckled McCulloch, his voice trailing off as he realised Lawwell was staring at him.
"Look, I didn't say it was a good bone so I want you all to think outside the box and report this to have people believe he's a Rangers supporter, got that?"
"Couldn't we just find a Rangers supporter who has been found guilty of online abuse?  Surely they're not too difficult to find in this day and age?" I piped up, finding my voice at last but only because there were at least a dozen journalists between me and Lawwell's whip.
"You would think so!" shouted Lawwell, kicking out at a few of the BBC Scotland bhoys closest to him.  "But not this week and I need something fast to take away the attention from the European Commission investigating our land deals."
"What land deals?  What European Commission investigation?  We haven't heard anything, we don't know what you're talking about" muttered every journalist in Scotland almost as if rehearsed.