One Short Tale from the Emerald City

Vincent Lunny stood behind Stewart Regan, his face lit up from the glow of Regan's computer monitor, watching Regan as he attempted to negotiate his way around Twitter without making a total cunt of himself this time.  Regan was searching for Joe Gorman's moronic tweet from the night before when he seemed to suggest he'd like to line up Protestants against a wall and shoot them.  Now who knows, maybe this type of thinking was deemed acceptable in Ireland in the old days but this is the 21st century and we're supposed to be above that now, especially in Scotland where you can be arrested for saying this kind of thing either in a football context or in a threatening communication.

"Here it is," said Regan, clicking on the tweet.  "Yes, it's as bad as the Huns are saying, what are we going to do about it?"

"Fuck all," said Lunny.  "We can get around this one no bother."

"Are you sure?" asked Regan, surprised.

"Of course I'm sure, who's going to pursue it, the Scottish press?" and at that they both burst out laughing.

"Good boys," said Lawwell who was standing behind Lunny, as he removed the dagger from Lunny's back where he'd had it pressed during the whole conversation.  "Now we can get back to more important matters like how to get those arseholes in the media to start talking about Craig Whyte again to take some of that State Aid heat off us .  Spiers!" - and he looked over at me - "What the fuck have you been doing to create diversions apart from hanging around Parkhead like a bad smell?"

"Erm, how about the whole Neil Lennon bigotry thing?" I said, ignoring his jibe about my personal hygiene but as soon as I said it he sprung on me, got me down on the floor and started lashing at me with his horse whip.  "I've told you a million fucking times, you don't mention Neil Lennon's bigotry, ever!  You hear me?"

"You misunderstand" I squealed.  "I was talking about people being bigoted towards Neil Lennon!" and with that he sniffed and got up off me and walked back towards Regan and Lunny but then when I wasn't expecting it he turned quickly and slapped me across the face with a dildo.  That's the problem with Lunny's office, those blasted things are always lying around.