A World Well Lost

So I’m a woman. I sat regarding my tits and struggled to remember anything after Magnus Linklater had me shot at the Times. I thought I was dead. Well, I didn’t think anything but it certainly felt like I was dead, all that nothingness, the cut to black but here I am, lying on an operating table in Lawwell’s dungeons and in possession of a remarkable set of diddies. I gave ‘em a little jiggle to see how it felt but this only brought a sigh from Souness who was eyeing me with suspicion from the other side of the room.
‘What are we going to do with it?’ he asked. Jorg Albertz was with him and he thought for a while.
‘Well we can’t leave it here, who knows why Lawwell had this done but I don’t trust for a moment what he’s going to do with it. Nothing good, that’s for sure.’
‘We’ll take it to Donald Findlay, he’ll know what to do with it,’ suggested Souness. ‘He’s a politician. Well, he’s a QC but you know what I mean. He should have some idea just what new monstrous outrage Lawwell is planning to carry out with a female Graham Spiers.’
There was no denying it, I’d pulled the sheets back and my cock was gone.

I didn’t argue with Souness or Alberz as they bundled me up and out of Parkhead, I wanted to get to the bottom (not for the first time) of this. Why in the midst of fighting off a concentrated attack by his own people in the media had Peter Lawwell taken the time to give me a sex change? If I’d known the trouble it’d get me into and the danger and being scared half to death, I’d have let it lie and just got on with life as a man with a woman’s body – it’s worked for Janette Findlay for long enough – but I just had to know and as we sped through the streets of the east end, the rattle of defensive machine guns sounding behind us as Lawwell fought off everyone with any media interest except BBC Scotland who remained sandbagged within Pacific Quay broadcasting the Boys of the Old Brigade, I thought to myself that this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship with my new body if only I had the slightest idea what to do with a vagina.