The Downfall of Brigadier Bill

Unfortunately for me, although it looked great from the ground and confirmed Leckie's new reputation as a swashbuckler, he had no idea how to work the damned balloon and we fetched up floating around the sky for days until we ran out of fuel and happenstance brought a southerly wind which blew us over Govan on the day of the old firm match and tempers fraying due to hunger and exposure, I let slip that I didn't have a problem with the antics of the Celtic fans no matter how vile their behaviour and this sent Leckie over the edge. Well, it sent me over the edge as he reached for his sword and I panicked and fell out of the basket. My luck was in though and my ankle got caught in the grounding rope and stopped my fall but I was left hanging there, upside down, the kilt flapping around my face just as the balloon passed the press gantry in the Ibrox main stand but as I say, no one noticed because Celtic had scored and the impartial Scottish football journalists were all screaming and hugging each other in celebration.
We finally came to outside the Broomloan Stand which was bad luck for Leckie because he was just about to take a swipe at me with his sword when the gates opened and out swarmed the Celtic fans who chased him all the way to Anniesland where I hear he was only saved by the timely intervention of a green and grey armoured car so Lawwell's stasi got a hold of him then.
A few days later I was lurking around Parkhead hoping to goad Neil Lennon into another outrageous rant against Rangers when I heard muffled screams. Further investigation led me to Lawwell's underground bunker where I could hear the huffing of an old steam contraption drowning out the sobs of a broken man. I glanced in the door and there was Leckie, strapped to a table with Lawwell and Peter Kearney both standing naked behind him, curiously for all his beliefs, Kearney was not only wearing a condom but also harbouring gay tendencies given Leckie's unfortunate position - oh well, there's always something buried deep within the most bitter homophobes. There was certainly going to be something buried deep within Leckie in the next few minutes but then he screamed, 'Alright! Alright! I'll do it! A pro-Celtic puff piece to make up for my past indiscretions and I promise I'll never go against the Celtic machine again,' and at that he passed out.

I managed to slip out of the bunker without being noticed but as I passed the manager's office I could hear a hissing sound and wondering if was Lennon letting the air out of his blow up doll, I barged through the door shouting 'Caught you again, you randy devil!' only to find Lennon sitting behind his desk, staring at the ceiling with red eyes and black drool dripping from his chin.
'Neil, Neil, oh don't tell me you've been possessed by a demon again,' I cried and rushed towards him.